God, when am I going to be able to sleep early??
From a friend who nails the range of emotions I am also going through, and I see no end to in the near future:
Dear Friends,
Please excuse the group letter but I thought it easier to e-mail all of you
at one time rather than individually. I just wanted everyone to know that I
am ok as are my friends that I have been in touch with and family. One of my
cousins was in building 7. thank god he is okay! We are fortunate...I am
Extremely shaken up and like many of you going through a gamut of emotions
from tears, guttural sobs, rage, fear, confusion, grief, deep, deep sadness,
powerlessness...For my friends here in NYC--I know each of you are going
through your own experiences with this overwhelming tragedy, I hope that
you are safe and that your friends and loved ones are too. I was unable to
contact folks because I was at NYU all day. No phone lines and then I stayed
overnight at J's because it was too difficult to get to Queens. I have
melted down twice as so much continues to sink in...walked around the city
yesterday and today aimlessly, feeling like a human sponge...seeking
courage, strength, understanding, and compassion...went to church twice
along with other comfort seekers...finding positive energy is
difficult...today-- I went to the river/west side highway and watched huge
dump trucks carrying pieces of the buildings, plane, cars out of the city
while fire trucks, police, ambulances, military vehicles came down the other
side of the highway...second by second reality sets in, in a way that can't
be shut out...
I think we all want our leaders to remain calm-- and our media to report
fairly...of course there are so many buts and what ifs...images and emotions
flood the front of my mind and heart beyond what I see and hear on the TV as
I am sure this is true for all of you. Wherever you all are in the world, I
hope that you are safe, praying, and sending good vibes across the
globe...as naive as it may sound, in my ideal spirit I hope we continue to
feel humanity and move towards peace not more violence. We are stricken with
what many in the world know in daily life, for those of you that do, help us
who don't to get through each day with strength, courage, compassion, and
faith.
I LOVE YOU ALL and wish you well!
A
Here is a Thich Nhat Hanh poem that I would like to share with you.
"Please Call Me By My True Names"
Do not say that I'll depart tomorrow
because even today I still arrive.
Look deeply; I arrive in every second
to be a bud on a spring branch,
to be a tiny bird, with wings still
fragile learning to sing in my new nest,
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.
I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
in order to fear and to hope,
the rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that are alive.
I am the mayfly metamorphosing
on the surface of the river,
and I am the bird which, when spring comes,
arrives in time to eat the mayfly.
I am a frog swimming happily in the clear water
of a pond,
and I am the grass-snake, who, approaching
in silence, feeds itself on the frog.
I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
my legs as thin as bamboo sticks,
and I am the arms merchant
selling deadly weapons to Uganda.
I am the twelve year old girl,
refugee on a small boat,
who throws herself into the ocean
after being raped by a sea pirate,
and I am the pirate, my heart not
yet capable of seeing and loving.
I am a member of the Politburo
with plenty of power in my hands,
And I am the man who has to pay
his debt of blood to my people dying
slowly in a forced labor camp.
My joy is like spring so warm it
makes flowers bloom in all walks of life.
My pain is like a river of tears,
so full it fills all four oceans.
Please call me by my true names,
so I can hear all my cries and laughs at once.
So I can see that my joy and pain are one.
Please call me by my true names
so I can wake up and so the door of
my heart can be left open,
the door of compassion.
