did i mention i was in vegas? teehee...b and i will be back soon...tonite's agenda? tom jones and drinks in paris...
Birthday ko noong Good Friday. It was an ideal day, to be honest. The youth choir at my church did our annual "living stations" and I played most of the music for it. The church was nearly full, almost like a regular Sunday mass. I got to sing 3 songs, one of which was part of a duet of the song "By My Side" from
Godspell. One of the songs I sang, I was proud of coz there's a bridge in the song where you really gotta belt a fairly high note (for me anyway) and hold it until the choir comes in with the chorus. Normally, i totally get chicken shit and either move away from the mic too soon or just end the note weakly. Not sure if it was my age or what, but I was so freakin relaxed throughout the song and hit it! Unlike past birthdays since I turned 25, I'm not dreading turning an age older. I think I was more relaxed to sing that song
because of age. I figure, well, I've messed up a bunch of times in the past, and hey! I'm still here, relatively undamaged from any temporary trauma. I've messed up before, and I'm just fine, so why get scared. Heh.
After church, we all came back to the house. I walked my god-daughter home (um, so i could buy a pack of ciggies) and ran in to one of my best friends, P. She was on her way to the gym and ended up coming to the house late. Mom showed Brian and I how to make pesto sauce using olive oil, garlic, basil leaves, and (YUM)
pignoli nuts. Brian took a bus to Flushing to get me 2 (two!) cakes - one strawberry shortcake and an ice cream cake from Baskin Robins. Dad went to Manhattan to pick up a tray of appetizers he ordered 'specially for me! Family and friends came, ate, and left. Totally ideal. *sigh*
Eto? Si Beng 'to. Wala lang, I was going through photos from my trip to the Philippines last year and found one of my fave pictures I took, hehe.
A bit disappointed I didn't have something better (i.e. something i'm excited to read for people) to read Thursday night but since it was intimate and among friends, I felt okay about reading this thing I wrote nearly 10 years ago that I slightly edited to fit the theme of the reading (which was "spring").It's quite
senti even for my taste so bear with me - I was 19!
Spring,
I call for you:
Impatient - my middle name.
Wanting something yesterday
Trying to grasp for infinitesimal tiny gems
Through a rush of running water
Blindfolded.
I know
I need to relish
Each moment each heartache each ecstasy each state of nothingness
Because in each unbearable state is a reminder that I am ALIVE.
The key is to know that every hurt leads to healing.
You answer:
The leaves of a tree do wither away in the fall and winter
But they grow back in the spring
Don’t dwell on when things will get better because
You will never be able to guess when
It will happen when you least expect it
Don’t be so hard on yourself – you will be happy again.
Open yourself to your emotions no matter how difficult they are to bear
Remember each feeling…
You’ve been cutting at trees that appear to be dying,
thinking they are taking up precious space.
The trees are a part of you and soon spring will come
and you’ll see they will bloom again
and nourish you with its fruits.
I can't write for shit. THAT'S what's stressing me out.
random thoughts on a wednesday night. i'm stressing for really no good reason i'm on break so i should be relaxing right but i feel like i should be doing work my place is a mess but i can't get myself to lift a finger i really hate my hair right now i'm going to be 29 soon oh gad oh gad oh gad but i'm happy i'm getting to where i'm on the way to getting where i want to be although most days i feel i already am there which is good right so why am i stresssing well i think its because i want to smoke and i still have to sneak it out gad am i in highschool or what i still let obligation and guilt confine me when it really is just up to me to ignore those inevitable twinges of whatever they are ok i think i can get a smoke here i go here i go here i go...
Margie,
Ben, and me in London!
Click on pic for coupla new pics from all over.
