Mizz Erna

A 5 minute free write:



1:36pm



A few observations. I'm not doing well with my giving up procrastinating. Failing miserably. Getting lazier and lazier by the minute, by the day, by the week. Dad's picking up Mom today at the airport. She went to "pick up" Ate Liza from the airport and to attend her funeral. It was also supposed to be a time for her to rest. That plan failed miserably as well. She actually got sick. Surrounded by her sisters and brothers who have gotten sick hasn't helped with de-stressing. She's run out of money coz she's given most of what she had with her to family. I think being in the Philippines depressed her more. I think my whole immediate family here is depressed. Oddly, I think we're still mourning. I personally was thrown off by this because I thought I was getting back into the swing of things and had'nt cried daily as I did before. Yesterday, all day, I felt a lump in my throat, as if I wanted to cry. But I didn't. Come 1:26am, and I just started bawling on the phone with B. He wasn't crying but he was feeling stressed. I just cried and cried and I didn't really have any specific reasons for crying. Just that I knew I didn't feel like doing anything. Didn't feeling like waking up in the mornings, didn't want to socialize with anybody but him. He got worried over this. I think it was hitting me how fucked up this year has been so far. Okay, time's up.



1:41pm