Oh geez, (my new overused expression) I'm sad again, and I haven't even told you about the Xmas Show. And I don't really feel like it. Just remind me to have you listen to the tape. Evidence, hehe. I really did it. I hit and held that note, a note that was out of my reach months ago - and for that I'm really proud. I'll just skip the details on how some friends (once friends, once former, now friends again) and family (it don't matter, i don't expect much anyway) bailed on me for that last show -the show I felt I performed my best. Them not being there sucked (i actually shed tears over it), but I'm over it.
Back to being sad.
I think I got some sort of "post-show depression" after the 3 x-mas show performances we did. Perhaps depression is too strong a word. It's just that there is this rush you get. It's a natural high, a mix of nervous excitement, anxiety, and trepidation at screwing up. It's great. Especially when your fear are unfounded. So today, I think I got the - let's call it the "post-performance downer." B and I performed "theatrically" (in quotes coz who knows what came out of what we attempted, heh) with a group at this Human Rights Festival tonite. It was awesome. Not perfect, but mistakes not noticeable (too much) to the public. And there was alot of people that fit in to that Soho gallery space. It was cool performing, and looking at their reactions. They reacted! They laughed at the funny parts, were quiet at serious part. What a great feeling to have a responsive audience, ya know? Then its over, that's it, tapos. *sigh*
Today was pretty hectic. I was up at 6:30 (set the alarm for 5:30am AND 6am) and left the house by 7:15am. Thank goodness Dad drove me to the test site. I had originally planned to drive by myself and look for parking. I was taking (quite blindly I shoulds say) the Liberal Arts and Sciences Test, one of a number of NY State Teacher Certification Exams (wow, for real na talaga, no? :). I registered about a week ago coz it was "strongly suggested" by the grad school folks. I need to pass this. C, who took this test a few years ago said it was really easy. So I didn't really worry about it until, oh, last week? But I still went in blind, no reviewing, except for asking P about simple math concepts (i.e. what's the law of probability?) and skimming thru my US History Regents Review book (and hey, I knew more than I realized!) -but thats it. I got really nervous (ok panicked about it the night before - B will attest to the panic attack, not pretty) soon before, when it hit me: shit! i'm going in to take this test without reviewing?? Remind me not to do that again.
I get there at 7:45am on the dot, just as the test site was to open the doors. There's a line. It wraps around the school. They could not let us in until the tests were in the building. The tests were held up in traffic. Sheht. We were there out in the cold - at 8am on a Saturday freakin morning, finally let in nearly 2 hours late. But not before there was a near riot. Damn, teachers can get real pissed when they're wronged. Cops came. I'm sure a number of the residents called - justifiably so - to complain about the noise. So the test that was supposed to start at 8:30am started at 10am. Alot of exam takers actually left coz they were so pissed off. I didn't think I could afford to not take the test.
It wasn't too bad. I have no idea how I did, but I was only really unsure of 5-6 out of the 80 mulitple choice questions. It was a thinking test. I wouldn't call it necessarily hard, but long and tedious. So many boring passages to read. I was afraid mostly of the math and science parts, and ironically I had trouble with the English grammer questions. I couldn't tell a run-on from a fragment. I can't even remember what the terms were. For science, I was afraid coz I "only" took environmental science for the science requirement in college. Lol, and that was what most of the science related questions were about. Haha. That was cool. There there was the written part. Agh. I don't know if I made sense. I had to argue for or against the banning of advertisements of alcohol products. Guess what i chose.
After the test,we headed home, got the food for the event (mom catered - pancit and shrimp shanghai - for the performers and volunteers) and headed back out, straight to the gallery space where the performance was.
And now, I'm home.
I'm kinda down. Mostly though, because B's not here tonite. :( He stayed in the city to watch the rest of the performers and to hang out with the group we performed with after the event. I on the other hand - the consummate dork - went home with Dad. Free ride and protected from the rain. Can't beat that. Plus Dad took off from work just to watch us perform. I thought that was pretty sweet.
Dang, I didn't expect to write that much.
